Friday, December 31, 2010
They make it so hard on us baby.
The world is ending tomorrow. Well, please hold. Not so dramatic this time. Take two. This year is ending tomorrow. We've got one more night to do whatever we think we should have done all year, and we've got one night to try to remember all of the things we did and all of the things we said and did not say all year. All the people we should or should not have met, or known, or spent the time to meet or know. We've got hours people. Roughly twenty four hours from now, i will be wrapped around someone somewhere telling them that I love them, and that I couldn't have possibly lived this far in my time without them, even though it is a person I just met, this year, that minute, the follow spot on my cue into a rousing rendition of Auld Lang Syne. Dear Lord, Dear all ya'll. Are you ready? Are you ready for all of the love that is going to be barfed onto you in a few hours?
Every year I build the New Year celebration up to be something I think is going to be the best night of my life. Something to the effect of the first time I ever got drunk or did any drugs, or rode down Lake Shore Drive at six in the morning listening to "1979" and watching the sunrise on Montrose Beach, or spent the night with someone I truly loved on a massive level, and every year, the hangover of the New Years celebration begins before the actual hangover begins.
I love a celebration, please believe. I also love any time where it is customary to guzzle champagne and hug everyone. Right now, I've got the Jenny Lewis sads, and while taking a trip back in my time machine of patchy memories of what happened this summer/this year, makes me wish it would've never ended, I wished that before the summer ended. I've got the sads in a good way. This year, as opposed to the past few years, has provided me with enough hilarious stories, and loves of my life to last me the rest of my life. All sentimentality aside, this year I felt everything I could possibly feel with every single person who is important to me in my life. Uppers and downers. I haven't felt that in a long time, and I will admit that the majority of the time it was NOT chemically induced.
I had the best year of my life, and it was all thanks to every person I met/know/took in along the way to wherever I decided I was going to try to go, but then ended up somewhere absolutely different.
I wouldn't change any of this for anything, and I want you to know, that while I think resolutions are a waste of time, and sure, it is just another year, and sure we can all do the same thing next year, sure we can. We can do whatever you want babe.
This is an important time for me. I like an end of the year "wrap up" special, like what you see on the E! channel. I like watching things happen again that have already happened, and you think, "Oh mah gawd. That def happened! How totes perf!" "I can't believe that happened!" "I can't believe we spent the entire summer on my stoop watching the neighborhood get down with itself, and drank a milli beers, and sang songs together, and spent hot ass summer nights trying to figure out how to stop it with all the sweating..." we sure did learn a lot about ourselves didn't we? I mean, didn't we? At least a little? I'd like to think that I ring in the dead end of my 20s as something truly spectacular and then, once I turn 30, it will be like being born again.
The countdown has already begun, and I want you all to know, that even if things didn't work out exactly as you thought this year( I did try my best to love you, I reallly did, and, whatever, I still probably do, but these things have a way of not working out, but working out, and that is something that will just have to heal itself), we have another year, and another one after that, and then yet another after that etc. etc. etcetra. We have the rest of our lives to be everything that we think we want to be tonight. Tonight we will be everything we want, whether it makes us hate ourselves Saturday morning or not.
This New Years party is our perfect match, and I cannot wait to spend it with all of you. Wear something sparkly, and meet me at my place around 8. There will be champagne, and jams, and hugs, and everything will be perfect, we will all be each other's perfect mate, even if it is just for one night.