Tuesday, February 8, 2011

That ain't no sock in my crotch.

Recently it has become apparent that The United States would prefer to believe that Mad Men, and the male-centric world of the early 1960s should be a time worth revisiting. Now, I know in the past I've taken more of a lightly toasted approach to this subject, but, as of recently, the goverment has provoked me to throw open my windows in the middle of this Chicago winter and scream, "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!!!" I suggest all of you to do the same.

Sexist attitudes have been creepin' around all forms of media for a very long time. This we know. We also all know, or at least, we should know, even if we weren't around when it happened first, that women's roles in this country were fucked up. I'm a woman living in America in the 21st century, and you would think, that by this time in my life, I wouldn't be seeing sexist ads on television. Haven't we progressed past all of this? Oh we haven't? We've regressed to this and this? Perfect.

The notion that women are still treated as if we have no control over who we are or what we choose to have or not have growing inside of us is ridiculous. As is the idea that women are simply to be thought of as objects or as nagging ugly hags. Oh! Check this encouraging image out. This makes me want to castrate every man on this planet. Even the ones I like! Watch out assholes! You're about to be able to hit all the high notes. To be fair, stereotypes of men are equal in how ridiculous they are. The perfect example of this entire blog could be any episode of Everybody Loves Raymond. That show is by far the worst piece of shit on television because it decides for you, dear viewer, that these are the truths about men and women. Your husband should be a bumbling lazy idiot and you should be the always nagging wife who has a strained relationship with your mother in law. While you're at home taking care of your three kids, cooking all the meals, cleaning, in a constant state of errand running, and walking the dog, your husband is either asleep on the couch "watching" television or out with the boys playing some boring old white person game of golf. These characters are modeled after real people. I. Am. Sure.

When I was working at Public Outreach, one of the twenty-year olds I worked with was going on and on about how he knew so much about Planned Parenthood and women yabba dabba doo doo doo, and I just said, "That's great, but when was the last time you WERE a woman?" I applaud the gentlemen who are willing to get down with the feminist movement, but the sad fact is, you will never understand that these old white fools in Washington want to take away from me my choice in literally everything I can think of.

Check out this bullshit. I just looked up "Planned Parenthood petition" and what came up was about a million sites spewing all manner of propaganda regarding Planned Parenthood's funding. This situation, for me, results in my decision to tell you that I don't care if you are pro-choice or pro-life. I just ask you, as a woman, to understand that either is a choice, and you are lucky right now to be able to decide (for the most part) by yourself. These old white men, who have never had lady parts, (unless I missed that part of the State of the Union) are trying to make sure that you NEVER have a choice. F.A.S.C.I.S.M. That's right. I said it. Because I can.

You know what else I can say, as a free woman, who can make her own choices? I can say to you that right now, thatthat 100% of all commercials on your television right now are sexist towards both women AND men. 100% of commercials pitching cleaning products have a woman in the commercial. Oh you're looking for a commercial selling you some bullshit food product that is 99% preservatives and chemicals you can't pronounce? I bet a woman can help you cook that because boy do we know our way around a kitchen! At the end of the preview for that horrifying Adam Sandler/Jennifer Aniston movie Just Go With It, the announcer urges you men to "tell your girlfriend it's a romantic comedy." Buhscuse me??? In the beginning of that Taco Bell commercial where the man and woman are in a piano bar, the pianist's intro says something to the effect of "that chick-sized steak." Buhscuse me part 2!!! We are surrounded by a sort of casual sexism and methinks it be time to move forward and not backward. Women gained the right to vote in the 20s. First of all, the 20s were not THAT long ago, second, THE FUCKING VOTE! Now we have to go after it again with these crusty old women-haters to try to get birth control pillsto be included in the GD healthcare reform.

I'm no femi-nazi (OFFENSIVE), but I don't appreciate any of this treatment. Dear Washington assholes, let the gays get married, and include birth control as preventative care on your mythic health care reform. Also, tell the ad men on Madison Ave. that what they're doing is sexual harassment. Finally, if a woman is sexually assaulted, let's not throw shade and cop that attitude that "she asked for it." Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.


1 comment:

  1. Tranny, I agree with everything you write (although fine, I'm not a woman, never have been, straight white men like me have gotten everything handed to us; don't worry, I hate myself so y'all ain't have to) but for real though, I DARE you to find a chick who can eat a steak as big as me, at Taco Bell or anywhere else. I will marry that woman, and then oh yeah we'll both die of heart disease before either of our 30th birthdays.

    P.S. Got 2 hang sometime, you can tell me about new job, I can tell you about still being in college.